4.20

 

Early this morning still drunk and high i followed a group of people up a mountain. They came up to me after my first paid solo music gig (!) We danced. Explored the clean cobblestoned streets of central Barcelona and i told them about my mission, quest, desire, I don’t know what the fuck to call it, to make spaces responsive to the constantly evolving needs and desires of those in the space.

The Syrian I was speaking to’s eyes lit up and he told me to follow them. We took a 5 am train about 20 minutes from the city and got off in the middle of a forrest. We climbed and climbed. There at the top of the mountain in the middle of a forrest was an artist commune replete with jamming musicians and views of the sea.

I keep dreaming of creating things or spaces only to have them shown to me, already in existence. This is such a magical world. I guess I’ll just keep enjoying the ride #wuwei but I am reminded of my privilege in these moments. To experience such beauty, such love, to float freely and be welcomed everywhere I go is a privilege not all are given. When i fought, in congress and for an ngo, I felt far from balanced, unwelcome, useless, powerless, doors closed, I made mistakes and lost grounding. What is my obligation as a citizen of a word where there is so much pain? What is my obligation as an animate amalgamation of atoms in a world full of so much wonder and joy? For now I will continue to explore and try to find new spaces that show those still deep in the trenches of impossibly stacked odds that another world is possible. I will try to share as much as I can here with you.